Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
