garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
