wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
COCAINE IS GR8
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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