She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
