Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
