I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So many bounce houses so little time
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
