so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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