its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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