look no pants
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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