i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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