Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
