I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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