belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's shark week go big or go home
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
