I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
