Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
