Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
