like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
