You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize