Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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