Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
