At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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