I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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