You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
