Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
