watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
