Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
