Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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