I think im going to throw up on grandma
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I need water and some morals
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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