so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
