Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
