it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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