Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
