they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
