Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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