We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize