It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize