Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize