If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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