After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
