Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
