chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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