sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
