I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
stop calling my apartment porn island.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize