there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
