i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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