i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
