I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
