the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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