She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize