No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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