Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize