Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
