first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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