Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
