I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
