But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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