My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
