I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
