He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
