its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
