Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Someone signed my nipple.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
